I knew the year was going to be challenging when, 10 days into the year, I was involved in an accident on my way to school— the tires of my Mum’s car came right off like a shoulder joint popping out of its socket. That evening I had to chair a meeting like nothing happened.
Every year, at the end of the year, some people have a tradition of compressing what their year was like into an article and sharing for others to read. When it was time to write mine, I couldn’t get myself to remember anything I could write so I asked my cousin to “interview” me and ask me questions that he’d find interesting. It took a while before we could both get serious. Below is the conversation we had.
Hi Mileke, how’re you doing?
I’m alright. It’s the end of the year. It’s a mix of feelings, you know. I simply can’t complain. It’s been great.
Yeah I get that. Did you have goals coming into the year?
Yeah I did. I’d attach a picture of it.
You finished top of your class, you graduated this year. Tell me how that made you feel then and how it makes you feel now.
Haha I hoped we didn’t start with this. Sadly, my brain focuses more on the gap than the gain most times. Going into my final semester at the beginning of the year, at the top of my head was the goal I made of finishing as the best graduating student in my faculty. I already had a very strong CGPA and was third overall at the beginning of my final year so it shouldn’t have been such a hard goal. I just needed to get a perfect GPA through my final year. Except, the two people before me were extremely brilliant and the workload on me was a lot. These two things made it unrealistic. But that’s what excited me to try it more. Long story short, my grade dropped considerably for my target. I finished with a first class but wasn’t too excited about it because I didn’t get the best grade. At that time, I felt a bit sad about it and now I just feel satisfied with it. On graduating, that was the best thing to happen to me this year. I’ve been in school for so long that I was so drained and tired of it. I’m happy I’m done with school.
Haha I can imagine. Do you still read now that you’re done with school?
Oh yes. I love to read. It’s one of those hobbies I always had but I had to stop cos of the workload on my head. Thankfully, I found my way back to books towards the end of the year. I wrote about it in worlds between pages.
True, I noticed you started writing this year. What inspired that?
The core inspiration to my seemingly new hobby of writing came from a sudden desire to live more that I got at the beginning of the year. I came into the year feeling grossly unsatisfied with myself. I felt like a workaholic that just did work and didn’t take time to enjoy things which ultimately led to me getting burnt out. So I decided to try something new — write.
A lot of credit also goes to my friend, Treasure, who indirectly inspired me to really write. She was the first person I mentioned it to and so far, I’ve been able to publish some things I like. Going forward, I think I’d want to try even more new things. New food, new places, new activities and yeah read more books.
I think that’s cool. You mentioned you got burnt out, what caused that?
So I talked about this when I shared my thoughts on burnout. I was doing so many things at the same time that all required a lot of effort. I did a lot of organizing and volunteering. It took a great toll on me in every possible way. Physically, mentally, in relationships etc.
Can you mention some of the things you were doing?
Yeah, sure. I was President of my faculty, Lead of the schools Developer Student Club (GDSC), co-organizer of my school’s TEDx, trying to keep up a first class, the only member of my final year group, and other relationship things.
You were the only member of your final year project group?
Omo, yes o. Both my group members absconded school for some reason. I envied them at several points. I had to do the project alone. Although I technically didn’t do all parts of the project myself, I had to figure it all out myself and the most painful part was I didn’t have the luxury of blaming anyone else when things weren’t going right.
Haha yeah I get. How did you handle the burnout?
Funnily, people who knew I was burnt out asked how I recovered from me but I don’t have a concrete answer that will help anyone. I just decided to do way less things. Which is hard for someone like me who is an avid overachiever. I’ve been out of school for 6 months without a job, and I’m not as bothered about it as I normally would be. I’m just taking my time with stuff. I traveled severally a couple of months back, I’m learning languages, I’m learning to cook and playing a lot of FIFA.
That sounds nice. You mentioned you traveled several times. Tell me about that.
Ouuuu, this is my favorite part of the year! This year I got called “Ajala the traveler” by my friends a lot. For context, the last time I left the country or entered a plane was 10 years ago. Immediately after finishing school, I started a traveling spree and it was so cool. I got to experience new cultures, new weathers, new ideas and ways of looking at things. Traveling has changed my life and a lot of key decisions.
How many cities did you travel to this year?
Let’s see. Asides Lagos, where I currently stay, and Ilishan, where I schooled, I’ve been to Akure, Ilorin, Paris, Berlin, Leipzig, Munich, Amsterdam, Kigali. Most of it was in the space of 2 months. I go to events and hear people ask me “are you back?” And it’s the coolest thing lmao. Traveling is now my thing.
Ouu that’s quite a lot of traveling. Are there any plans you’re making towards traveling?
Oh yes. This might not be what you’re expecting but I have an interesting plan. I’ve picked up learning languages. I want to travel to several places in Africa and Europe and they might not all speak English. Learning new languages will allow me communicate with locals in a lot of places I go and I kind of have to constantly travel because I’d need to speak the language constantly to remember it. This year, I was able to finish one of four levels of my German. I plan to finish through with it next year and maybe start French.
Say something in German real quick
Ich kann ein bisschen Deutsch sprechen und ich liebe schöne Frauen.
Mad o. Hope you didn’t yab me sha. What’s an odd highlight from the cities you went to.
Hehe. In Berlin, I went on a date with a beautiful woman. She’s German-Nigerian and from the same state as me which was a cool coincidence. She’s about 2 years older than me and I could tell that put her off, but I actually like that. We had dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant and took a walk around random places in Berlin past midnight. I loved it very much. We didn’t talk after that.
Bad boyyy. How was your love life this year?
Omo. It was really something. It was existent and non-existent at the same time. I did situationships this year but I’m not a fan of them at all. There was one particular person I really wanted to be with, we both wanted it to work but it just didn’t. I had my faults in that and I acknowledge that.
One of my goals for the year was to be in a committed relationship so I had high hopes but I think I longed for it too much. It didn’t help that I was confused and overwhelmed. I hope it happens next year though.
I’m learning how to be a better man for when the times comes. Matching PJ pictures coming soon🫣.
Lover boy M! Let’s talk about serious stuff a bit. Enlighten me on the “organizing and volunteering” bit of your year.
Ahnahn do you mean my love life isn’t serious stuff? Na wa o
Haha, I don’t mean it like that now.
Yeah I get you. So I kept busy for most of the year to be honest. I’d just mention some of my favorite highlights from each of my “involvements” with organizations.
- For BUCC, I was in charge of our largest tech event “Career Fair 1.0” which brought together 400 attendees and really cool speakers. I’m grateful to Abraham Ogudu for his significant contribution to this.
- For GDSC, I organized a 2-week bootcamp that had a reach of over 3000 participants. Im super proud of this one cos this whole planning and execution was done in less than 2 days with an insane team of people.
- For TEDxBabcock, we held the maiden edition of TEDx in Babcock with over 200 attendees and cool speakers as well: Korty, Tunde Onakoya, Nancy Isime and Kelvin Umechukwu.
- For Devfest Lagos, I volunteer and co-led my unit alongside amazing people.
- I spoke at 4 tech events: DevfestSE Ilorin, DevfestSE Lagos, GDG Lagos Cybersecurity, Google Developer SSA Community Summit in Rwanda.
- I was awarded “Pioneer of the Year” by Google SSA for my efforts in GDSC.
- I participated in the Wema Hackaholics Hackathon alongside Paula Asinobi and German Emmanuel. Although we lost, I’m grateful for the experience. It also gave me a beautiful startup idea that might sadly never see the light.
- My teammates and I at BUCC salvaged a “crashed dinner” situation that saw our money and effort waste and we were able to raise funds to host another one in a weekend. The shege was a lot behind that story but we always triumph.
- I became a co-organizer for GDG Cloud Lagos.
Looking back at this list, it’s really been a crazy year.
How has tech been?
Man, it has been hard for me.
There’s a great feeling of imposter syndrome I’ve had for a while towards it. I’ve applied for countless number of jobs but I’ve gotten none. The few interviews I got either ended up ghosting or not working out. I’m considering a career change. We’d see.
What major emotions have you felt this year?
This year I felt lonely at several points. There’s no way I can talk about this without sounding sad, or offending my friends who try to be there for me. So I’d leave it at that.
This year I was profoundly confused. I have stayed up at night thinking about several what-ifs. I have moved back and forth between decisions and directions. I prayed about it, because I don’t know what else can help it. To explain how I felt a bit better, I wrote about it in I wish I had all the answers.
This year I made mistakes that I try not to regret but learn from. I lost friendships with good people, I flunked relationships, I disappointed elders who believed in me.
This year I constantly felt like an imposter and it didn’t get better when people kept telling me to guide them through something or mentor them on another. “I see all the great things you’re doing, Mileke”. I wish I did too. At a point, a changed my twitter name to “their dad” in an effort to encourage myself. I soon got tired of it and only left it because it sounded cool.
This year I was really stressed. To the bone. I worked very hard and didn’t rest till the end of the year. I was tired and stressed.
Greatest of all though, is that I was happy. Amidst all the challenges and troubles, I was still happy at some points.
One last question. What are a couple of things you’re really grateful for this year?
I’m grateful for my mum. I’m grateful for my family. I’m grateful for relationships and friendships. I’m grateful for the new people I met this year, specifically Femi Soetan and Paula Asinobi. I’m grateful the old friends that have stuck with me. I’m grateful for the gift of Amala. I’m grateful that I touched way more money than I expected. I’m grateful I got to travel and fall in love with traveling. I’m grateful I made memories.
For 2024
I’m not making any new year resolutions. Im not making any big plans. I’m not setting any goals or targets. I’m going to focus on each day as it comes. I’m going to put my energy into systems and habits. There are things I want to do each day rather than big yearly targets. I want to travel as much as I can. I want to read everyday. I want to care more about my skin, hair and body. I’d write a lot more. Id call old friends and put effort into making new ones. I’d consciously reply messages more. I’d put effort into making the people around me happier even if just a little bit. Id keep learning and I’d keep teaching. I’d live more and most importantly, I’d love more.
Thank you, ‘23.
With Love, Mileke.
PS: you can read 2021 and 2022’s reviews and watch a recap of my year in photos via the attached links.
